We only managed to get to one position. Missionary. My least favorite. My body is not built for me to cum on my back. It was over before I could blink.

He kept falling out and I wasn't even on my stomach. He even complained about my pussy being "too wet." (What the hell kind of excuse was that? That's like me saying, your dick is "too hard!" He came in about twenty...STROKES. I'm not a bitch by nature. I didn't laugh out loud--right away. This happens to guys all the time. I'm a patient girl.

"How long will it take you to get hard again?" I asked.
"Twenty minutes." He said.
I lay around naked smoking my pot patiently waiting. And then he got up and started to get dressed.
"What are you doing?" I said sitting up.
"I have to go, baby, I told you, I have to pick up my mom at the airport."
"You're kidding, right?" I laughed in disbelief.
"No. I'm serious." He said.
I searched his expression through the pause that followed but realized that he was, indeed serious. I laughed and laughed in his face. I was stoned obnoxious.

"You're a fucking loser. You fucking suck. I can't believe you!" I continued to laugh. I started to put my clothes on shaking my head. We checked out a little over an hour after we had checked in. I felt like I had just turned a dirty trick, even though I don't even have sex on my calls. My shows were a thousand times classier than this shit. They certainly lasted longer.
I jumped in the passenger seat. I kept mocking him and laughing at him. He took my abuse like a champ, considering as "manly" as he was. I was asking to get slapped. All my pent up sexual energy was making me instigate like a motherfucker.
"You want to hit me don't you?" I kept laughing. Punk ass bitch. I've never had worse sex than this. I stared out the window. I guess there's a first time for everything.
The motel was only a couple of miles away. We pulled up to my house.

I gave him a courtesy peck on the lips. Why? I don't know. Maybe I'm too nice. Maybe I'm just used to hating men while smiling at them.
"Bye." I said with another laugh planning to exit his life without looking back.
"So, you want me to call you about the room tomorrow?" he said with a straight face.
"Puhahahaha!" I cracked up and slammed the car door.
I swung back and opened it again."That's my answer!" I said, and I kept laughing as I walked to my front door. Fucking loser.

I sat back down to my computer at 11:30. The whole endeavor had taken less than two hours out of my web design time. Instead of feeling used, I felt great because I was entertained, amused AND I felt like I came out on top, even though I didn't come at all. It had to be wrong how satisfied I felt. I learned something new about sex, power and myself. I was able to laugh in the face of some guy who actually sells himself on his own sales pitch. I was able to laugh in the face of someone who actually believes that sex is only about SATISFYING NUMBER ONE. He deserved to be clowned without mercy. I hope he doesn't ever forget how I was laughing at his dick, because I sure won't. I had forgotten that there were actually men out there like that. I thought they were only character s in the movies! I shook my head and started to back to work. I looked at the clock and laughed again at the two hours I just spent "fucking" Nico.