I had wanted this man for what seemed like a long time. I had built him up to be this sexual fantasy that he couldn't come within a million miles of. It was such a new thing for me to pursue. I am not usually physically attracted to men like I was with Nico. Hyper-hetero-testosterone types usually disgust me. He was like some figure out of a mafia movie, like WWF character "The Rock". In fact, I used to call him "Afghan porn star" while referring to him in fantasy. When I think about the irony of all of this I can't help but laugh again. I was physically attracted to him until he opened his mouth and started talking about some bullshit that was probably another inflated lie. But, we did have a sexual connection...before we had sex. There was sexual tension when we worked with each other and it got more intense in my last days there. It was extremely convenient that I was fired because I felt liberated to ask for his number without worrying about things getting complicated at work.

It was a total disillusion. One Saturday night I was stoned, horny and daring and decide to call this fool up. We hadn't talked in over a month since I had (ha!) given him a blowjob in the back seat of his car. I felt cheated. It made me have psychotic dreams of smearing his entire car with Taco Bell burritos. I briefly channeled the psycho woman in Fatal Attraction boiling rabbits. More like Pathetic Attraction. I wasn't going to go that far but I hadn't felt this powerless since high school. The whole date was a flashback to some teenage sex experience I may have had, but blocked out of memory. Oral sex in the backseat of a car. Drop me back home at my mom's house. So lovely and romantic it brings a tear to my eye.

I have acquired a liking to sucking dick, but I'm never one to just give it up without reciprocation. I felt that he had "fucked" me by getting off and not giving back and managing to convince me to do all this without investing any money or time. I was a cheap date. He didn't wine me and dine me, he "ho-ed" me and "to-go"ed me! (Ha! Ha! Ha! I can only laugh at it now. And yes, I laughed at it as I was eating my Nacho Bell Grande, but that didn't stop me from proceeding to eat his cock right after!) I just couldn't go out like that. It was too much for my pride to handle. All this humiliation only furthered my desire to have him fuck me. I was after my orgasm with a vengeance. I HAD to find out if the dick was all I had imagined it to be. This was the only thing I had left that would make this insanity bearable.

I called his cell phone.

"Nico." I say abruptly into his cell phone. "It's Gennifer."
"Whoa. Out of the blue. How's it going?"
"Great." I say. "Listen, I have a question for you."
"What's that?"
"Do you want to fuck me?"
I laugh."Uh, It's not a trick question. I wasn't speaking a different language, was I?" I paused thinking out loud." It can't be at my house, because my mom is always home and it can't be in the backseat of your car, so you need to get one of those hotel rooms that you said you have a hook up to."
I think again about how Fred must be right around the car lot hearing him yell this conversation.
That was how the game began.
"I've been thinking about this for a long time, so it better be good." I said. I usually don't talk like this, but it was all part of the role I took on with this game.
"Why did you pick me?" he said.
"I picked you a long time ago, fool. You just couldn't get your shit together so it never happened. So let's see if we can finally work this out.."
(As I write this, I'm shaking my head in disgust because I realize how much of a loser he really was.)